67. Analog Clocks
66. Joni Mitchell
65. The term 'slunt' -- look it up on urbandictionary.com (warning: vulgar!)
64. Joan Baez
63. Pocket watches
62. Beach towels the size of blankets
61. Trashy, girly magazines
60. Megan Barnes!
58. Raggi, millet, quinoa and other lesser known grains in the Western hemisphere
57. Handmade Valentine cards in months other than February
56. Cast-iron pots and pans
55. The term 'granola' used as an adjective. Example: People who live in Olympia, WA tend to be hella 'granola'.
54. The Canon Rebel EOS
53. Western Montana in July
51. New cell phones
50. Automatic rice cookers
49. Being naked
48. New brassieres
47. Homemade soap
46. The Krups FLF 2 Electric Kettle
45. Kitenge cloths
44. Baby bjorns
43. Little old men with big eyeglasses
42. Wearing the same clothes for a week
41. The smell of new paint on old walls
40. James Taylor
39. Tattoos that really mean something
38. Tattoos that people get 'just for the hell of it'
36. Porcelain elephants
35. Mormon boys on bicycles
34. Handouts with directions to make your own dental damns
33. Picnic baskets
32. Reusing ziploc baggies
31. Homemade water tornado bottles (you know, the kind made out of two 2-liter pop bottles?)
30. Honey-nut cherrios
29. Shane Co. radio adverts
28. Lysol Disinfecting Wipes (as 'bad' as they are)
27. Mattilda Berenstein Sycamore
26. Dykes on Bikes
24. Peppermint hand lotion
22. Dead Ass by Michael Cirelli
In the bodega, a young girl wearing
jeans so tight she has to use turpentine
to get them off, says to her friends,
Damn, it's dead ass raining out!
I was enamored. Instead of cats and dogs,
I pictured donkey corpses falling from
the sky, clogging the gutters.
That's some serious rain.
The song on the radio said that the po-po was:
"tryna to catch me ridin' dirty," I imagined
Chamillionaire wearing a 20 lb. gold chain
with mud dripping off Jesus' shiny toes,
Krazie Bone in four hundred dollar jeans,
with grass stains on the knees.
In Oakland, the sound there is "hyphy." To me,
that alien word means gooney-goo-goo.
To me, that word is my dead father's kiss.
But to thousands of kids with trousers that sink
below the Plimsoll line of their asses, hyphy
music makes their bodies dip up and down
like an oil drill.
These words make me feel old, and alabaster.
When I hear something new, it's like I
for the first time, like I excavated it from the
of a teenager. So I dust it off with my fossil
and try to jam it into the keyhole of academia.
I'm not afraid of dope lyrics, not dope meaning
but dope meaning good. My kind uses scrilla to
up the windows of shook, Duke University
who holla, "Go Brooklyn! Go Brooklyn!"
Fo shizzle, crunk, hella: I put in glass jars like
I want to hang them on the doors of sonnets
like a welcome sign to an apartment
I don't live in.
21. Dial radios
20. Dream catchers
19. Clothes hangers with the little slots for straps so that things don't fall on the floor of the closet
18. Keeping lists
17. Old baseball cards